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The Ideal Length of Everything Online, Backed by Research

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And when we woke up, we had these bodies. They’re like, except I’m having them! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. You’ll have all the Slurm you can drink when you’re partying with Slurms McKenzie Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry?

Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all. I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. Quite possible.

It is nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.

You guys go on without me! I’m going to go look for more stuff to steal! You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right.

Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial? You don’t know how to do any of those. What’s with you kids? Every other day it’s food, food, food. Alright, I’ll get you some stupid food. You won’t have time for sleeping.

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Maybe you don’t like your job, maybe you didn’t get enough sleep.

Oh yeah, good luck with that. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? Explain that. Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing.

A Bicyclops Built For Two

I love you, buddy! Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

  • I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars.
  • For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your first wife was the one.
  • But the flesh is spongy and spanac bruised?

Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. When will that be? Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

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Progress is a nice word.

Daylight and everything. This is the worst part. The calm before the battle. I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing. Who am I making this out to?

It’s nice to just embrace the natural beauty within you. Who am I making this out to? Shut up and get to the point!

And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, you mean while for the love of God, don’t not do it!

Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! You mean while I’m sleeping in it? Shut up and get to the point!

I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, Going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Who am I making this out to?

They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.

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You have to enjoy life. Always be surrounded by people that you like.

Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all. Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.

I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated science. And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to.

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Everyone in this world is somehow connected.

Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Who am I making this out to?

You mean while I’m sleeping in it? Throw her in the brig. Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue.

Daylight and everything. I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. So I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct?

Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. And then the battle’s not so bad? And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! Shut up and get to the point! Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? I’m sure those windmills will keep them cool.

Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all. I love you, buddy! Please, Don-Bot look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! You guys aren’t Santa! You’re not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? Hey, whatcha watching? That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him!

Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.

Kids have names? That could be beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. You can see how I lived before I met you. Do a flip!

Hello Morbo, how’s the family? I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. We’ll need to have a look inside you with this camera.

© 2017, . All rights reserved.

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Two Nigerian men arrested with fake South African passports in Thailand

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Nong Khai immigration police, Thailand on Monday October 16th, arrested two Nigerian men who were found to be using fake passports.

The Nigerian nationals bearing the names Katego Ofentse Makabane and Wayne Junior Shinbambo, both 35, attempted to cross the border to Laos at the Thai-Laos Friendship Bridge.

They told immigration officers they were going to the South African embassy in Vientiane.
However, when officers checked their South African passports they discovered a number of discrepancies.

During further questioning the two men confessed to using fake South African passports and admitted they actually from Nigeria.

One man said he had entered Thailand at Phuket Airport while the other said he entered at Padang Besar.

The men said a friend in Thailand made the fake passports for them after their original passports had expired.

© 2017, Ikrueyen Vickky. All rights reserved.

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From Europe to Silicon Valley: McLoughlin and Rein on their journey at Disrupt Berlin

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Graffiti on Berlin Wall, Berlin, GermanyTechCrunch Disrupt Berlin, our premier European event is fast approaching this December. And that means some of the top players from Silicon Valley will be coming over.
In this context, we are always interested in the experiences of European entrepreneurs who have made the transition from a successful European startup to joining the ecosystem in Silicon Valley. So we’re delighted to announce two new speakers for the conference who have been through that very journey. And not only that, one ended up investing in the other, making for an even more fascinating conversation.Andy McLoughlin
Partner
SoftTech VC

Andy is a Partner with SoftTech VC, one of Silicon Valley’s most active seed-stage venture capital firms where he primarily invests in SaaS, vertical industry solutions, and developer tools.
Prior to joining SoftTech, Andy was co-founder of London-headquartered Huddle, an enterprise SaaS collaboration platform that was acquired in 2017. Andy’s angel investment portfolio includes innovative B2B products like Pipedrive, Intercom, Apiary (acquired by Oracle), Buffer and Bugsnag, as well as consumer services including Postmates, Secret Escapes, HER, and Calm.
Andy co-founded and is the US Trustee for the Founders Pledge, a charity that promotes altruism in early-stage entrepreneurs by enabling them to donate a percentage of personal proceeds following an exit. He was awarded an OBE in the 2015 Queen’s birthday honors list for services to the UK technology industry. Follow him on twitter @bandrew

Timo Rein
Co-founder/CEO
Pipedrive

Timo Rein, co-founder and CEO of Pipedrive an activity-based simple sales management tool that helps over 60,000 sales teams to get more organised and focused, has 15+ years of experience as a salesman, sales manager and software entrepreneur. Timo is passionate about sales tactics and has always had a knack for reading people.

As CEO, Timo is responsible for setting long-term product vision and business-critical strategy goals. While Pipedrive has grown to over 300 employees working from different locations in New York, Lisbon, London and Estonia, Timo is still closely involved in the hiring process of new people and helps to find the best possible professional and personal fit between the new employee, the job or the rest of the team.

Prior to founding Pipedrive Timo worked for eleven years as one of the three partners at Vain & Partners, a sales consulting and training company with clientele like PwC, Coca Cola and Nissan. Timo’s goal was to create programs that would help different companies and people sell more, and manage better. Timo worked with about 30-40 companies, and 500 people each year to figure out ways to better sales results in different industries.

Timo also considers selling books door-to-door for 3 months in 2000 (in California, US) with Southwestern Comp, crucial to his sales experience that was eventually put to use as the architecture of Pipedrive. He was in top 1% performers among 4,000 sales people and while he never thought he was the type of person who could sell, he pulled off 14-hour-long days, 6 days a week, and 12 weeks in a row.

Timo’s first full-time job as a university student was a recruiter when he worked for four years interviewing people applying for managerial and specialist positions in different companies. Timo studied psychology at Tartu University and completed his BA studies in 1999.


Disrupt Berlin 2017 takes place December 4-5 at the historic Arena Berlin in the heart of Berlin, Germany.

Get your Disrupt tickets ASAP or rather right now to save 30% off of your tickets. You’ll see the Startup Battlefield competition, in which a handful of startups pitch our judges with the hopes of winning the coveted Disrupt Cup and a massive cash prize.

And you’ll get to chat with representatives from scores of promising startups in Startup Alley, see amazing on stage content, and unwind after a long day at the show with a cocktail and some new friends at the Disrupt after party.

Are you a startup? The Startup Alley Exhibitor Package is your best bet to get the greatest exposure by exhibiting your company or product directly on the Disrupt Berlin show floor and if you get your exhibitor package before this Friday 29 September you’ll get an additional general admission ticket! Check it out.

 

 

© 2017, Paul Umoh. All rights reserved.

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Nigerian News

Man goes temporarily insane after wife gives birth to conjoined babies in Lagos.

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A man was so distraught when his wife gave birth to conjoined twin baby boys that he became temporarily insane.

Mr Obinna Ugwuoke, from Ebonyi state, and his wife Mrs Amarachi Ugwoke welcomed their sons at First Covenant Hospital in Satellite Town, Lagos on the 8th of May 2 017. The couple, who have two other children, were shocked when they saw that their sons were joined at the stomach and it took a toll on the husband.

The boys have four separate legs, two separate heads, and four hands but are fused from the chest down to the stomach. They have been named James and John.

The parents are awaiting a surgery to separate their sons and their parish has begun raising money to help pay for the medical expenses.

© 2017, Sunday Emmanuel. All rights reserved.

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“Beautiful Ones (Acoustic)” from Beautiful Ones (Acoustic) – Single by Hurts. Released: 2017. Track 1 of 1. Genre: Pop.

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