Nothing succeeds like success — even when it comes to “Sharknado.”
Everything about this annual campy summer film is cheesy, from the writing and direction to the casting and acting. As the “plot” unfolds, pretty much all you think is: How insanely bad will this be? And “Sharknado” never disappoints.
The franchise’s status as a magnet for celebrities forgotten and desperate reaches new heights with “Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!,” which documents the collateral damage when a ferocious storm hits Washington, DC. In advance of next Wednesday’s premiere, we wanted to give you a heads-up on some of the crazy cameos you will see.
- Mark Cuban: Being rich and a television personality in his own right was not enough for Cuban. High on his bucket list, apparently, was an appearance on “Sharknado.” He is playing the president of the US.
- Ann Coulter: The conservative cudgel with the Barbie hair works her shtick to maximum effect as the vice president of the US. Something else for her to complain about: Why wasn’t she POTUS?
- Bill Engvall: The comic plays White House chief of staff Gary Martin Hays. If he’s going to work with Cuban and Coulter, he’s going to need a sense of humor.
- Anthony Weiner: The disgraced congressman and selfie-taker really gets into his role as the director of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, tracker of the sharknados. The time is ripe for Weiner to become the next Leslie Nielsen (“Airplane!,” “The Naked Gun” series).
- David Hasselhoff: The Hoff may have found the role of his career as Gilbert Shepard, father of sharknado crusader Fin (Ian Ziering).
- Bo Derek: It’s been a long, long time since we’ve seen the “10” star, but she’s ready for a comeback in her role as May Wexler, the mother of April (Tara Reid).
- Lorenzo Lamas: The former “Falcon Crest” hunk appears as military man Sergeant Rock.
- Jerry Springer: The host of “The Jerry Springer Show” and the former Democratic mayor of Cincinnati plays Mr. White, a tourist visiting the nation’s capital.
- Tom Compton: The offensive tackle for the Washington Redskins appears as a reporter.
- Ryan Kerrigan: The outside linebacker for the Redskins plays a NASA technician. (NASA? Hmm . . . !)
- Michele Bachmann: The Tea Party queen appears as herself, as do Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb from “Today.”
- Maryse Ouellet Mizanin: The pro wrestler plays a park police guard.
- Chris Kirkpatrick: The *NSYNC singer plays a lifeguard.
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